The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your penis caused this!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
