we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
no, he came in my armpit
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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