I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize