Yo dont text me then not text me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
