Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
