i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
