everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
