I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I currently don't understand fingers.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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