We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
