i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
then he tried to convert me to islam
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
