is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
