Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
