OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
