yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
