All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
