It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
