I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
