if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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