i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
