and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
