we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
