I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
