WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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