I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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