I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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