this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
