: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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