if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
