I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
COCAINE IS GR8
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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