u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
