Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
