Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
