I'm lost and stupid without you.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
