I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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