he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
