went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
