Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize