Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
