he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
