New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
