the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
whose parrot is this?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
