too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
