I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
