Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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