Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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