This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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