thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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