we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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