Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
