and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
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