allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
