i think i scared a bird with my dick
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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