my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
