Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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