Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
