Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
