that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
