I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize