pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
