Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
