Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
