Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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