You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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